Let's talk about liposuction

So this post will relate to weight loss, but weight loss which isn't a particularly healthy or accessible way of weight loss.

I'd like to start off by saying that in 2012, I had liposuction. This was more for reconstruction purposes than cosmetic purposes, and so was something that I had wanted for a long, long time (which I imagine most people who have this procedure also want for a long long time!) It was not something that I took lightly, as this is a major, invasive procedure, and should not really be used for or to maintain weight loss.

That aside, I would like to share my personal experience of liposuction, as of course many people have this procedure, and I would have liked to know a bit more of what was actually going to happen on the day than I did, rather than just published reports and doctor speak.

Before I was booked in for the procedure, I saw the plastic surgeon around 3 times, so that he could asses the area I was having liposuction, and also speak to me about the risks and outcomes of the surgery. I also had to attend a clinic for my weight, height and for them to do swabs before my surgery.

On the day, I arrived at 6am (!!) makeup free and hungry, as you should for any surgery, and generally feeling very tired, but very excited and anxious. I hadn't been put under for any surgery for years, and only really remembered being sedated. This didn't really put me off, as I don't really have any fear of being put to sleep, and if anything I was more nervous about them injecting me with anything to put me to sleep!

Eventually I was called in to be put on the table and to see the anaesthetist (I'd already had a cannula inserted when I arrived and changed in to my hospital gown). He could tell that I was very, very nervous. Most likely because I kept asking what was going to happen when I was asleep, how long I'd be asleep for, and I also get quite angry when I'm nervous, so I did end up causing a bit of fuss. Oops!!

He put some sort of sedative in my hand at this point. I have no idea what this was, but it made everything seem lovely and calm, and I just remember I kept asking what to do with my glasses, as I was so worried they'd fall off in surgery and I'd lose them forever!

The next thing I know, a nurse is waking me up in the recovery room, and my mouth is so dry and I have never felt sicker. I have terrible eye sight, and so I could tell straight away I didn't have my glasses, so proceeded to tell the nurse I couldn't see. Looking back, this probably wasn't the best thing to say as she started panicking that I'd had some reaction to the anaesthetic and had temporarily lost my eyesight! Eventually I managed to correct myself and she passed me my glasses.

It was at this point that I realised that never, ever have I felt such pain. And this is really why I wanted to write this post. No one prepares you for the pain after you've had the surgery. They try to prepare you for complications, and being put to sleep, and all of the pre-surgery stuff, but no one mentions the pain you will feel after you have liposuction.

I knew it would hurt, and I have a high pain threshold, but this was like no other pain. Even now, after having my child, I think I would still rather have another child than have liposuction again!

I was only in for day surgery, and so I was rushed out (as honestly, I believe everyone wanted to go home) and I don't really remember much of this day. My dad drove me home, and I spoke about chicken nuggets the whole way. I don't remember getting in, or getting in bed, or even falling asleep.

The next day, I woke up to the same awful pain. It felt like my entire body was bruised and bleeding, which really it was! I had to go back after 2 days to have my dressings changed, and I had a strange sensation of constant bleeding. Luckily I wasn't actually bleeding, so it must have just been damaged nerves.

The pain honestly took around 2 months to stop, so if you are considering this procedure, please, please remember this. No one warned me, and perhaps I should have considered this more pre-surgery, but I just so wanted this to be done. I also wish I had have considered how this would mentally affect me. I had the procedure to correct something with my body, and although the surgery was successful, my mind couldn't accept that. Although I have had the procedure now, I don't know if mentally I will ever accept that my body has changed.

Another problem that I ended up having, and still have to this day, is a complete lack of feeling. Liposuction isn't a particularly gentle procedure, and so a lot of my nerve endings were damaged. On one side, this means that injections don't really ever hurt any more! But on the other, it is strange to have no real feeling on my skin, other than an occasional strange trickling feeling.

So all in all, am I happy I had the procedure? Of course. I wanted it for so long, I don't think anything would have stopped me. Do I wish someone had have warned me of the pain and aftermath of this procedure so I could prepare myself fully? Yes.

Have any of you had liposuction, or would you consider it?

Bx

Week 2 : A day late, with less weight

So I'm a day late writing this post, and I can only apologise! But, photos and my weight was taken yesterday. It was just unfortunate that at 8pm last night, my partner decided it was a wonderful time for food shopping! However, I tend to jump at any time he suggests food shopping, otherwise I'm left to the most dreaded duty by myself.

So on to the post, and the results are in....the moment you've all been waiting for...

My current weight (as of 23rd October 2015...) is:

119kg

 

which means that I have lost a total of 3.5kg in a week (or 7.7lbs if you're that way inclined)

 

I'm actually amazed at this weight loss, as I've not been trying overly hard, I've still been having the occasional treat, and eating normal, healthy meals. Of course, I'm over the moon! But don't expect next week to be quite so good!

 

On to this weeks body shots (in which you may notice a naughty stow away baby)

 



 

I personally can't notice too much of a difference to last weeks pictures, but the scales do not lie! (unless it's to tell me my weight has gone up)

 

My diet favourites for this week have been:

 

• Avocado
• Prawns
• Chicken curry (which I made surprisingly low fat!)
• Mcvities double chocolate digestives (oops, but I've got to have the occasional treat surely!)

I'm considering starting an exercise group this week. The village I've recently moved to have daily exercise classes in the village hall, which I'm trying to work up the courage to go to check out!

 

Do you have any diet or exercise tips?

 

Until next time,

 

Bx

 

 



REVIEW : Barry M Showgirl Extra Volumising Mascara

Hi everyone,

Today I have a review of a Barry M mascara that I've recently noticed was on offer in boots in the UK (I'm not being paid by Barry M, I promise, although I sort of wish I was) 

 

It is the Barry M Showgirl Extra Volumising Mascara, which Barry M say gives you big, real impact lashes. With a spiral wand, the mascara is designed to magnify and enhance the shape and dimension of your lashes for a look that's larger than life.

 

I quite often spend (read: waste) my money on a lot of mascaras that make huge promises, but often fail to deliver. I love big, volumous lashes (read: clumpy) on days when I really don't feel like doing much, or don't have time to do my makeup, but still want to feel like I've made a bit of an effort on my face.

 

so, does this mascara really work?

 

Here are my lashes pre-mascara...

 



So as you can see, standard, boring lashes.

Here are my lashes with one coat of the Barry M Showgirl mascara...

 

And finally, my lashes with two coats of mascara...

 



So, what would I say about this mascara?

Well, I'm glad that I didn't actually purchase this mascara, and got is free on an offer in superdrug when I purchased 2 nail polishes. I will continue to use this product as what I call, a "base mascara", but I would never use just this mascara on it's own. I love to use a couple of different mascaras over each other, typically one for length and then one for volume. Unfortunately, although this mascara is marketed as a volumising mascara, I wouldn't say that it really built any volume for me.
Would I repurchase this mascara? No, I wouldn't. If, however, you prefer a more natural lash look, this may be a perfect product for you, but to me the word "showgirl" suggests large, over the top, glamourous lashes, and this just wasn't the case.

If you would like to try this mascara out for yourself, you can purchase it here for £4.99, or in most UK boots and superdrug stores (usually on offer!)

And to finish up with a quick mum can't bothered face of the day...

 

Have you tried this mascara? Do you agree with me? Or was I just expecting too much?

 

Until next time,

 

Bx



REVIEW: Barry M Sunset Daylight Curing Nail Paint

Hi everyone,

How is it Monday again already? We've been in our new house for 2 weeks today, and it feels like all I've done is sit here eating toast. Oh dear.

Today i'll be talking about the Barry M Sunset Daylight Curing Nail Paint, which Barry M say "delivers the look and resilience of pro salon gel nails without a UV lamp or the expense". The special formulation bonds to the nail like a gel in daylight, but can be removed using your regular nail polish remover.

So, professional gel style nails, which are quick and easy to apply, for a fraction of the cost? For a mummy like me, who currently looks after a 12 week old baby 24/7 until i'm back to work, this sounds perfect.

I have colours: Out of my red (Vibrant, classic red), Peach for the stars (Fun, peachy pink) and Dark side of the 'shroom (muted violet). I also have the Sunset topcoat, as the nail paints will not work without the use of this.

Colours L-R: Sunset Topcoat, Darkside of the 'shroom, Peach for the stars, Out of my red

 

 

So, you apply 2 coats of your desired nail paint, wait for each coat to dry and top with the topcoat. Then, just wait in the sun (optional in the UK currently) for them to dry. What could be easier!

 

Here are some swatches of each colour, please excuse my nails. I am now a qualified cot builder!

 

Without Flash

 

With Flash

 





My opinion? I love this nail polish. Each coat dries relatively quickly (helpful with a crying baby) and the top coat feels shiny and hard wearing. On me, I can usually get away with around 5-6 days wear without chipping, which for me is excellent! I quite often use the red on my toes, which lasts for at least 2 weeks without chipping. The only problem I have had with wear is occasional peeling of the polish if I haven't waited quite long enough for it to dry before doing the washing up (with my hands, obviously)!

I would like to try some of the other colours, as I purchased Dark side of the 'shroom believing it was a mushroom-y nude, however when I applied the colour, it dried as a muted, pastel purple. I personally love the colour, it just wasn't what I expected!

Barry M Sunset nail paints retail for £4.99 and can be purchased here, or are available in most UK Boots and Superdrug, usually on 3 for 2 or buy one get one half price.

Bx

Baby Blues & PND

Hi everyone,

I wanted to write a post about something a little bit different today, which affects thousands of women every single day, which is quite close to my heart. Baby blues and post natal depression (PND).

I had my son 12 weeks ago, by emergency C-section, which I won't go in to now as that could be a whole other post on its own! The hospital were great, the nurses and midwives couldn't have been better. They were helpful, and attentive and I couldn't have asked for better. As I had an emergency section, I ended up staying in for 3 days and when they finally told me I could leave, I wanted to skip out of that hospital (had it not have been for the major surgery and stitches holding me together).

I thought everything was fine, and that this was the start of the rest of our lives. I couldn't wait to get home and start living with my new, perfect little bundle, who I instantly loved as soon as they placed him on me in the operating theatre. And yet, walking from the hospital to the car (in the miserable rain, I might add) something inside me switched. Suddenly I was terrified. I didn't want to go home. I wanted to stay in the comfortable care of the hospital. I pushed these feelings aside and we drove home.

As soon as we got home, there were balloons and presents and cards all waiting for us. And I felt like I should have been so happy. Suddenly everyone starting texting me, and calling me, and knocking on the front door.

I didn't want people around me, and yet at the same time, I didn't want to be left alone. I felt like I should be so happy, I was home, I had my happy, healthy, beautiful baby and this was the start of everything. And yet, inside, I was panicking. I was scared and terrified, I didn't know what I was doing. Everything was too overwhelming. I wanted everything to just go away. I wanted normality.

Family turned up at the house, and my baby was crying for food. I took him upstairs to feed him because I wanted to be alone, but we were having issues with breastfeeding. He was having trouble latching on, and really I think this was the start of how my feelings developed over the weeks. I felt such pressure to breastfeed, and I really, really wanted to. I would have given anything to breastfeed. I believed that it was the best thing for him, and if I didn't give him the most natural thing he should be having, I failed as a mother.

And yet, as soon as I got to my bedroom and tried to feed him, of course, we failed. I just couldn't do it. He couldn't latch on, no matter how many nurses and midwives had tried to help me, no matter how many times I tried and tried myself. I blamed myself entirely. There must be something wrong with me if I couldn't do the most simple, natural act for my child.

And so, I cried. I cried and I cried and I cried. Everything felt like it was my fault, I was ruining everything, I should be so happy and yet I was crying. I should want to share the most beautiful, best thing in my life with the world, but I wanted to just lock us away and not see anyone ever again.

Eventually my partner come to see what was taking us so long, and found me in a crumpled mess, clutching our crying, hungry baby, wishing I could make everything perfect. It was at this point I decided to start expressing my breastmilk so that I could at least feed our son.

The days and days went on. My partner was perfect, he couldn't have been any better. He let me sleep when I needed it, helped me feed our son as I was expressing milk, tried to cheer me up. But there was something underlying that just wouldn't go away. It would be there when I tried to sleep, when I woke up. I couldn't eat. In less than 2 weeks, I was back to my pre-baby weight. Every time I went in to the bathroom, I was alone and felt like I could just cry my heart out. This would have been perfect if I didn't wear makeup on a daily basis. I felt disgusting and ugly, my body is covered in stretch marks and I hadn't been able to reach my legs to shave them for weeks before I went in to labour (TMI!).

This went on for several weeks. Every time I went upstairs to express milk, i'd come back down with my mascara all over my face. Whenever anyone asked "and how are YOU doing mum?" I'd burst in to tears. I didn't even want to see my own mother. I remember one car journey to Cardiff with my partner, who asked if I was looking forward to the weekend and I just started crying and crying like I would never stop. I honestly felt like I was going mad.

I just wanted to be myself again, but I seemed to forget that I was myself. I was just a new myself. My whole life has changed, and I never even expected to have children, so of course this was a complete shock to my life.

My health visitor suggested I go to a few baby classes, to meet other mums, to talk about how I was feeling with people who would really understand. At first I was very, very reluctant. I didn't want to be around other mums, I felt like it might make me feel worse. It would enforce the feelings I was having that my life was over, that I was going to become ultra-mumsy and not even realise it. But, she booked me on to baby massage regardless.

My partner works shifts, and so one morning I was completely alone with my baby and decided I'd go and see what baby massage was about. And this seemed to be a turning point. I was able to take my baby out and do something with him, just us, I didn't need anyone else to help me, or tell me what to do, or make me feel bad about myself.

We're now 12 weeks in to my beautiful ones life, and it's getting better. I still have days I just want to pack my bags and run as far away as possible. I still have nights I just cry myself to sleep. I still have days I don't want anyone around me, and if I'm in a group with too many people I just lock myself away and pretend i'm doing something, anything, washing up, going to the toilet, cleaning the house.

But it does get better. It gets better every day, and we have less crying days and more smiling days. I don't expect things to magically get better. I was offered help and medication, which I chose not to take as I was breastfeeding at the time. However, one of the best things I did was to stop expressing my breastmilk and moving to formula feeding around 8 weeks. I spent less time locked away in my bedroom with a pump and more time giving my baby what he needs. Love.

I might come back to this subject in the future, when I feel like I have more to add. But at the moment, I just wanted to make a post which would have helped me 12 weeks ago, to know that it's ok to cry, and it's ok to feel like you're going mad, and it's ok to push people away if it makes you feel better. And to remember that these sad, miserable, lonely feelings aren't forever. When you cry and you don't know what's wrong or why you're even crying or why you feel so guilty for every single thing you've ever done in your life, it's all normal. Completely normal.

And your baby, and the love you suddenly feel, the most special, precious, unique love, is forever. And that's all that matters.

Bx

Weight-Loss : Week 1

So, I've made it to Friday with no Wifi for nearly 2 weeks! I know, I know, I can't believe I've made it myself.

Todays blog will be week 1 of my weight loss diary as promised, so I've weighed myself bright and early this morning, and also taken a few snaps so that we can see my progress through the weeks.

So without any further ado, I'd like to announce that my current weight this morning was...

122.5kg.

I had to stare at this number for quite a few moments before I believed it. How could I have possibly put on so much weight in so few years? How is this possible? I know I've only had a baby 12 weeks ago, but surely I've not been eating that much??

Alas, after weighing myself several different times through the day, I was forced to believe the truth. My weight at the start of this journey is 122.5kg. I have a long, long way to go.

 

So here we have the standard front view and side view. Please excuse the mess, we've only just moved to everything is in boxes, and please don't judge me that in 6 months time, the room will look exactly the same.

 

I am also considering at this stage to start taking Orlistat again to help kickstart my weight-loss, however if there are any good supplements any of you are taking, please feel free to share the secrets!

 

If you would like to join me on this weight-loss journey, please comment or message me and we can help support each other. More the merrier!

 

On a side note, I will be making a fashion post soon on some of the items I've been loving right now, one of which I'm wearing in the above picture. They're the Evans Super Stretch Skinny Jeans with the ripped knees, which I absolutely love. I will also make a post on the most amazing nail polish I've been using, please note toes above....

 

Until next time, B x

 

 



 



Back ;)

Hello everyone,

So, it's been a little while since my last post. How time flies!

My life has changed since my last post more than I ever thought possible. I'm currently in the middle of a house move with a 12 week old baby in the middle of nowhere, which is a very strange change from my usual London life!

So, since I have so much time on my hands now (ha ha), I have come back to the world of blogging.

There are a few things I'd like to post about, such as beauty and home improvements on little money, but after having my little boy 12 weeks ago, there has been a major thing on my mind.

Weight-loss.

As wonderful as the NHS were to me during the birth of my baby, if I were to go on to have other little munchkins, I would want to lose around half my body weight in order to feel at least slightly more comfortable in pregnancy.

So, my plan is to be as open and honest with you all as possible. I will post pictures of my current post-baby body (eeeek!!) and my current weight, hopefully each week. I'm unable to do this until Friday when we get wifi however!

If any one would like to join me on this journey, please feel free to come along for the ride. Safety in numbers!

Until Friday, B x